In lieu of the past Halloween festivities, I have decided to tackle one of my biggest pet peeves: over-the-top, downright obnoxious couples. As I casually sipped from my red Solo, I glanced around the overcrowded kitchen. I had to choke back laughter as I counted the number of people who paraded around in matching costumes with their significant other.
Yea, I admit some of them were cute and quite creative, there was a cracked out looking Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt that nearly made me die with laughter, and the occasional doctor and nurse pair which is sorta kinky, but other than that people looked ridiculous. I saw these poor guys being dragged along like lost puppies, forced into wearing humiliating attire just so their girlfriends could claim them as their own. I mean, let's be serious. No naughty Girl Scout is going to chat it up with the unfortunate sucker wearing the plastic Fred Flintstone feet, because a) he's both uncomfortable as well as mortified and b) Wilma's in a white mini dress and looks like she's about to clothes-line you.
It's not just on Halloween when I am irked by this overwhelming "togetherness," it can happen anywhere and at any time. The worst experience of my life thus far was during a low-key night out.
Just a year ago, I decided to join a group of friends for a quick bite to eat, and when I say group of friends I mean a handful of chicks and one of their boyfriends. Not a big deal, we all got along really well, we all liked him and enjoyed his company. Well, we did up until the point when the two lovebirds decided it was a great idea to feed each other at the table. The five of us were already cramped into a slightly too small booth and you two A-holes think now's the time to play choo-choo train? You've got to be freaking kidding me. We all kind of just put our forks down, looked on in amazement, and sat in silence for roughly three minutes. It was then that they noticed. Their only response was this innocent, childlike…"well we do it all the time" followed by coy little giggles. Haven't you two been dating for like six years or something ridiculous like that? And you still need to feed each other in public? I don't get it.
The annoying habits can go on from there: baby talk; clinginess (can't you go out alone once a week? I didn't realize the boy wanted to sip wine and give himself a pedicure too, but sure, he can come to girl's night, no biggie)…the list really can go on. I guess what I'm really trying to say is, give each other some space, you'll appreciate each other much more in the long run. Let him watch football and drink some brews with the guys and come gossip and make margaritas with your girls. Please don't ever feed each other in public…it's repulsive. And finally, let the poor guy be something gory for Halloween…no need to make the man wear tights for God's sake; he doesn't need to be the Peter Pan to your Tinker Bell.
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